Setting and Maintaining Healthy Boundaries with Expressive Arts Therapy
We all struggle with boundaries from time to time.
For some people, saying no doesn’t just feel uncomfortable — it can feel genuinely unsafe, confusing, or overwhelming. When boundaries are hard to sense or communicate, exhaustion and frustration often follow, leaving little time for rest or reflection.
Unrealistic boundaries can lead to unhealthy relationships.
It doesn’t have to be that way. When you better understand yourself, your personal needs, and how proper boundaries can be used to strengthen relationships, you can find joy, respect, and care.
We’ll look at how expressive arts therapy can help you set and maintain appropriate boundaries.
Why is Setting Boundaries Important?
Though boundaries are important for many reasons, clear and balanced boundaries are necessary for two primary reasons:
To care for yourself
To promote healthy relationships
We are all different, and we have different levels of comfort. Because of that, our boundaries will be different.
No matter how tightly or loosely you set your boundaries, well-defined and coherent boundaries are good for our mental, social, and emotional health. This is especially true for people who are sensitive to sensory input, emotional cues, or relational expectations, where unclear boundaries can quickly lead to overwhelm.
Positively, boundaries:
Help you feel more in control
Keep you connected in relationships
Promote positive self-esteem and self-worth
Signify commitment to critical relationships
Help you prioritize what you deem is important
Aid you in finding balance
Reduce sensory and emotional overload
Unhealthy boundaries or lack of boundaries can lead to feelings of:
Anxiety
Depression
Exhaustion
Being taken for granted
Burnout
Anger
Resentment; and
Hurt
As relational beings, boundaries help you relate to others with mutual respect and care.
I would love the opportunity to help you evaluate the boundaries in your life and help you envision them through working with an expressive arts therapist in Portland.
Healthy relationships are possible when you understand yourself and your needs.
Benefits of Setting Healthy Boundaries
The benefits of establishing healthy boundaries may go without saying.
Looking at the following list of benefits, however, may provide the motivation to begin setting safe boundaries for yourself.
Healthy boundaries can:
Be self-empowering
Provide time to heal or recuperate
Protect you from intrusion
Give structure and support
Help others
Improve self-esteem and self-respect
Why Can it Be Difficult to Set Boundaries?
Even after identifying the many benefits of setting boundaries, many people still find it difficult to do.
Why is that?
It’s interesting that one of the benefits of healthy boundaries — self-esteem — can also be a deterrent from forming them. Long-standing self-doubt, people-pleasing patterns, or difficulty trusting one’s own internal signals can make boundary-setting feel impossible — even when someone understands its importance.
But that’s not the only reason some people find it a challenge to set good boundaries. Our upbringing and past experiences may keep us from creating healthy boundaries. In addition, many people feel like they are being selfish when they set boundaries.
Other things that keep people from setting boundaries include:
Guilt
Fear
Of being unloved
Perfectionism (especially when mistakes feel intolerable)
Lack of focus
Social conditioning
3 Types of Boundaries Therapy Clients Might Need Help Setting
You have different types of relationships — with friends, family, and coworkers — and boundaries are important in all relationships.
Setting the right kinds of boundaries is important in being able to maintain connections with a balance of closeness and distance. Sometimes, especially in toxic relationships, complete disconnection is the healthiest boundary to set.
Let’s look at a few unique relationships that therapy clients may need to pay attention to.
#1: Boundaries Between the Client and the Therapist
Therapists and clients have a special relationship of sharing and confidentiality. Because of that unique relationship, particular boundaries can be set based on the personal needs of both the client and therapist.
When the therapist sets up expectations upfront, a safe environment is available to everyone.
Additionally, practicing safe and wholesome boundaries with a therapist can be good preparation for establishing good boundaries in your everyday life.
#2: Boundaries Between the Client and Others
With successful boundaries between a therapist and client, boundaries in other relationships are possible.
Establishing boundaries with …
Family
Friends
Co-workers
Bosses or supervisors; and
The general public
… can go a long way in preserving emotional health and relational stability.
The work necessary to set guidelines, alter them as necessary, and communicate them to others is well worth the benefits that will be enjoyed.
#3: Boundaries Between the Client and Internal Ideas or Beliefs
Many people carry loud internal narratives — critical, demanding, or fear-based voices — that can interfere with relationships and self-trust.
Things like …
Negative thoughts about worth, ability, and status
Low self-confidence
Low self-esteem; and
Negative self-talk
… can first be received as messages from others that later become internalized and morph into thoughts or beliefs a client may have about themself.
Learning how to place boundaries between the client’s unhealthy beliefs and themself is essential to experience freedom, control, and balance.
How Expressive Arts Therapy Can Help You Work on Setting Healthy Boundaries
Expressive arts therapy provides a whole new vocabulary and style of conveying your story — to yourself and others.
We are all creative beings even though our art may not be found in the finest museums or our music heard in the grandest concert halls. Each of us has creativity that is unique to us.
Expressing ourselves through creative means is part of the human language and can result in more joy and fulfillment in our lives.
Expressive arts therapy can help you:
Explore what boundaries mean to you:
Do your boundaries help you to thrive?
Do your boundaries help you feel safe? (emotionally, physically, and energetically — even if “safe” is hard to define at first)
Are your boundaries allowing you to grow?
Evaluate whether your boundaries need adjustment or if new boundaries are needed
Envision what healthy boundaries look like and how they can positively affect your life
Create boundaries
Experience boundaries
Be empowered to create boundaries, especially if you’ve felt powerless to establish them in the past
Explore Your Current Boundaries
Before you can make any changes to boundaries, you first need to examine the boundaries you currently have in place. Make an assessment and be honest with yourself as to how they are serving you and your relationships.
Equipped with the knowledge that comes from accurate and honest assessment, you’ll be able to see where your boundaries are working or where they are being crossed and then make necessary changes.
Boundaries can be too flexible which can result in:
A lack of trust
Giving in too much of the time; or
Feeling the need to share too much of yourself
On the other hand, boundaries that are too rigid can leave you feeling:
Empty
Lonely; and
Isolated
Finding the right balance — and that balance is different for everyone — will be the key to experiencing close and healthy relationships.
Create a Sense of What New Boundaries My Look Like Through Different Modalities
The amazing thing about expressive arts therapy is that it is varied in nature.
Different modalities of creative exercise give you the ability to express yourself in many ways. You may discover forms of expression that feel regulating, grounding, or clarifying — even if they don’t look traditionally “creative.”
Below are some suggestions of expressive arts therapies to empower boundary setting:
Construct a literal boundary - When learning to set boundaries, erecting a physical boundary, such as a wall, can release your creative juices while giving you time to also reflect on your emotions and needs.
Create a visual boundary - Designing a boundary through visual art, like a collage or painting, can help you to imagine what life would look and feel like when you set comfortable boundaries for yourself.
Use movement and drama - Movement through dance and action through drama are positive ways to vocalize personal mantras to assert boundaries.
Try your hand at journaling - Expressing thoughts and ideas on paper through journaling can be a healthy way to find a safe space to go when overwhelmed or when feeling depleted. Journaling is also a way to practice mindfulness and reflection on your emotions.
No matter which type of expressive arts therapy you choose, it is an excellent way to improve boundaries, reduce stress and anxiety, lower depression, and experience personal growth.
Express Your Path Expressive Arts Therapy in Portland Can Help Empower You to Create Healthy Boundaries
Are you struggling with setting boundaries that are beneficial to you personally and relationally?
Through expressive arts therapy, I’m ready to help you visualize healthy and effective boundaries that will leave you feeling joyful, safe, and fulfilled.
If you’re curious about working on boundaries in a way that feels respectful of your nervous system, I’d be glad to talk with you. Click the button below to schedule a free 20-minute consultation.
